When we think of safety, our minds often go to “stranger danger.” But for teens with disabilities, safety challenges are often closer to home. We must prepare them for the subtle, everyday interactions that can be tricky.
As parents and educators, we walk the fine line between encouraging social connection and teaching the importance of boundaries. It’s challenging when teens are taught to be polite and accommodating to fit in, but this instinct can sometimes compromise their safety.
Closer-to-Home Challenges
- That neighbor who goes in for a hug without asking.
- A “friendly” shopkeeper who gets a little too personal.
- Social media where “private” isn’t always private, and “friend” doesn’t always mean friend.
The Subtle Safety Lessons
We spend years helping our teens develop social skills—how to say hello, ask questions, and engage in conversations. But then we’re faced with the harder lesson: teaching them it’s okay to say “no,” to set boundaries, and to trust their gut feelings.
For teens with autism, ADHD, or intellectual disabilities, these lessons are especially crucial because they may not always pick up on social cues that signal discomfort or danger. We must teach them to recognize and act on internal warnings.
Why Instincts Matter
Safety isn’t just about memorizing rules—it’s about recognizing when something feels “off.” That gut feeling? It’s worth listening to, even if acting on it feels awkward or uncomfortable. Prioritizing their comfort over someone else’s expectations is the ultimate safety lesson.
Trust Their Instincts
Even in seemingly harmless situations, their feeling of unease is valid.
Speak Up
It's okay to seem "rude" if their safety or comfort is at risk.
Prioritize Comfort
Their personal boundaries come before anyone else's expectations.
4 Ways to Teach Boundaries
Practice Saying No (Role-Play)
Role-play scenarios where they might need to decline a hug, answer a personal question, or refuse an invitation. Teach phrases like “I’m not comfortable with that” or “I’d prefer not to share that information.”
Discuss Social Media Safety
Explain the importance of privacy settings and what information is safe to share online. Teach them to question requests from strangers, even if they seem friendly.
Validate Their Feelings
Reinforce that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable and act on those feelings. Remind them that their safety is always more important than being polite.
Model Boundary-Setting Behavior
Let them see you set boundaries in your own interactions. Talk openly about how you navigate situations where you need to say “no” or decline an offer.
Celebrating Their Wins
When your teen sets a boundary, no matter how small, celebrate it. These moments—refusing a nosy question or declining a friend request—are major victories in their journey toward independence and self-advocacy.