Loneliness and immigration stress are common for Indians who move abroad to study or work. You may be missing family, food and language, carrying an education loan and your parents' hopes, watching visa deadlines, feeling guilty about ageing parents back home, and facing subtle or open discrimination, all while being told you are "living the dream".
Feeling low and homesick in the first months is a normal response to a huge change. If it lasts for weeks, disrupts your sleep, studies or work, or brings hopelessness, it is worth talking to someone. Many Indians abroad find it helps to see an Indian therapist online for cultural understanding, while keeping local services and emergency numbers for anything urgent.
Why loneliness abroad hits so hard
The WHO Commission on Social Connection defines loneliness as the painful feeling that comes from a gap between the social connection you want and the connection you have. Social isolation is different: an objective lack of social connections. You can be surrounded by classmates or colleagues and still feel deeply lonely.
The WHO estimates that 1 in 6 people worldwide are affected by loneliness, with rates of 17% to 21% among people aged 13 to 29. It also notes that lonely people are twice as likely to become depressed, and that loneliness can contribute to anxiety and to thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
For many Indians, the contrast is sharp. You may have grown up in a joint family, a busy hostel or a neighbourhood where someone was always dropping in. Abroad, you come home to a silent studio apartment, and by the time you are free, your family in India is asleep. The first Diwali or Eid alone, in snow or in an empty office, can hit harder than you expected.
The pressures on Indian students abroad
The Ministry of External Affairs estimates that nearly 1.25 million Indian students were pursuing higher education abroad as of January 2025. Behind that number are very personal pressures:
- Money. A large education loan, mental conversions of every expense into rupees, and part-time work squeezed around classes.
- Visa and job timelines. The clock on post-study work permits, job applications and lotteries can make every month feel like a countdown.
- Academic culture shock. Class participation, group projects and strict academic integrity rules that work differently from what you knew.
- Expectations. Parents who sold land or took loans, relatives asking about your package, and a feeling that coming back early would mean failure.
- Comparison. LinkedIn posts from batchmates who seem to have it all sorted.
Aarav, 23, is doing a master's in the US. He tells his parents on video calls that everything is great. In reality, he has not had a proper conversation with anyone in a week, is skipping lectures, and lies awake calculating loan EMIs. He does not want to worry them, so nobody knows.
Working professionals, partners and families
Working Indians abroad face different strains. Long hours and the pressure to prove yourself in a new workplace; accent jokes or being passed over in ways that are hard to name; managers who do not understand why a family emergency in India means you need leave now.
Partners on dependent visas can lose a career and an identity overnight, while everyone assumes they are enjoying a comfortable life. Parents raising children abroad worry about language, culture and whether the grandparents will feel like strangers.
Guilt about parents back home
For many NRIs, the heaviest weight is not loneliness but guilt. Parents are getting older. You miss weddings, illnesses and sometimes funerals. On video calls, they hide their health problems so you will not worry, and you hide your struggles for the same reason.
A few things help:
- Agree with siblings or cousins in India on who handles what, so you are not carrying everything from far away.
- Make a simple emergency plan with your parents: their doctors, a trusted neighbour, important documents, and how to reach you at any hour.
- Have honest calls, not just reassuring ones. "Amma, tell me how you really are. I want to know, even if it is not good news."
- Remember that building a life abroad is not abandonment. Many families find ways to stay close across distance.
If the question "should I go back?" keeps returning, it deserves careful thought rather than a decision made at 2 am. Talking it through with a therapist who understands both worlds can help.
Identity: between two worlds
Many Indians abroad describe feeling too Indian in their new country and too foreign when they visit home. Racism and stereotyping can make you shrink parts of yourself; trips home can make you realise how much you have changed. For queer Indians, moving abroad can bring freedom alongside painful distance from family; our posts on coming out to Indian parents and finding a queer-affirming therapist may help. If caste or class has shaped how you are treated, at home or abroad, read about caste-inclusive therapy.
Practical ways to cope with loneliness abroad
- Build a weekly anchor. One fixed, in-person activity every week: a sports club, an Indian student association, a temple, gurdwara, mosque or church, a volunteering shift.
- Mix your circles. Indian friends feel like home; local and international friends help you belong where you are. You need both.
- Keep a routine. Regular sleep, meals and movement, especially through dark winters.
- Cook the food you miss. Dal, rasam or rajma on a Sunday is not trivial. It is regulation.
- Set up calls home that work. A regular time that suits both time zones, instead of guilty late-night calls.
- Limit comparison. Mute or cut back on social media that leaves you feeling behind.
- Know your support options. Check whether your university or employer offers counselling. Students can sign up on the MEA's Students Registration Portal so the Indian mission can contact you in an emergency, and the MEA's MADAD portal handles consular grievances.
When to seek therapy, and how to combine online and local care
Consider talking to a professional if low mood or loss of interest lasts most of the day, nearly every day, for two weeks or more (the WHO's description of depression), or if you notice changes in sleep or appetite, skipping classes or work, drinking more, panic attacks, or thoughts that your family would be better off without you.
| Option | Strengths | Limits |
|---|---|---|
| Indian therapist online | Shared cultural context, no need to explain family dynamics or "log kya kahenge", sessions in your time zone, continuity if you move again | Cannot respond in person to emergencies; may not meet insurance or university requirements |
| Local counsellor or doctor | On the ground, can coordinate urgent care and prescribe if needed | May not understand Indian family and cultural pressures; waiting lists in some places |
Many people use both: an Indian therapist online for weekly work, and a local doctor or campus service for medical care and emergencies. Our guide to therapy for NRIs goes into this in more detail.
Crisis numbers in common destinations
| Country | Crisis support | Emergency |
|---|---|---|
| United States | 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) | 911 |
| Canada | 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline (call or text, 24/7) | 911 |
| United Kingdom | Samaritans, 116 123 | 999 or A&E |
| Australia | Lifeline, 13 11 14 (24/7) | 000 |
| India (for family back home) | Tele MANAS, 14416 or 1-800-891-4416 (free, 24x7) | Nearest emergency department |
Elsewhere, use your local emergency number. If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services or go to the nearest emergency department straight away.
Carely offers online sessions with Khushi Sengupta (MSc Clinical Psychology) for teens and adults, including NRIs, international students and expats. Sessions are disability-affirming, queer-affirming and caste-inclusive, and you will not have to explain why a call from home can ruin your week. The First Step session is $55, £55, €55 or AED 400 abroad, or Rs 1,500 in India. See plans and timings on our online therapy page.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel lonely after moving abroad?
Yes. Loneliness and homesickness are common after a big move, especially in the first months and around festivals. If it does not ease, or starts affecting sleep, studies or work, it is worth talking to someone.
How can I make friends abroad as an Indian student?
Choose one regular in-person activity and keep going, even when it feels awkward. Friendships grow from repeated contact, so a weekly club, sport, faith group or volunteering role works better than one-off events.
Can I see an Indian therapist online while living abroad?
Many NRIs do, for the cultural understanding. Keep a local doctor or service for emergencies and medication, and check whether your insurance, university or visa situation needs a locally registered provider.
What if I want to move back to India?
Wanting to return is not failure. Give yourself time to separate a hard season from a real wish to go home, look at the practical side with your family, and decide when you are not in crisis.
How can parents in India help a child who is lonely abroad?
Ask open questions and listen without immediately offering solutions or reminding them of the loan. Say clearly that coming home, or getting help, would never make them a disappointment.